August 3, 2009

If you do decide after a gradual approach that you want to have an affair, walk into it with both eyes open. It gives you a much better balance than being swept in overnight. No matter how deeply you care for a man, try hard to preserve some balance during the affair. Don't let him feel that he owns you completely, or that you want to keep him tied hand and foot. Don't act too desperately intense, and pull that line of "I've given you everything, and I hope you appreciate my sacrifice." In the first place, men hate having that thrown up to them. In the second place, sex isn't a human sacrifice. Women would be better off if they tinged its spiritual content with a dash of earthy humor. An affair should be an important, exciting experience for both of you. Then why should a woman pull this martyr stuff. Nobody knocked her over the head and forced her into it. If she took enough time to decide for herself, she should have made up her mind it was worth it. Unless you're a half-wit, you know you'll have some unhappiness to swallow. You'll get your share in any emotional tie-up, whether it's an affair or marriage. A lot of nice women are treated shabbily, but some of them bring it on themselves.

-- from How About a Man (1938)

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